Couples
Therapy
Couples rarely separate because they disagree. They separate because they disagree in exactly the same way every time — and neither can see the cycle they are inside.
The cycle, not the culprit
Every struggling couple has a cycle: a pattern that starts the same way and ends in the same place. One moves toward with intensity, the other withdraws; the more one withdraws, the harder the other pushes. Both feel they are defending themselves. Both are right about how they experience it.
In emotionally focused therapy the cycle is the patient — not one of the two people. The work is to make it visible, slow it down inside the session, and hear what sits underneath the attack and underneath the silence. It is almost always the same thing in different packaging: the fear that I do not matter to you.
Where it helps
- Recurring arguments about small things you both know are not the issue.
- Emotional distance: living together without contact, politeness without connection.
- A crisis of trust or infidelity — what it means, what broke, and whether and how it can be rebuilt.
- Sexuality: mismatched desire, avoidance, guilt, the silence around it.
- Transitions: moving in, marriage, a baby, relocation, unemployment, illness.
- Families of origin and boundaries: who decides, where "us" ends.
- Deciding whether to separate: and the work to make it, if it happens, less damaging — especially where there are children.
What a session is like
The first meetings are assessment: I listen to both of you, together and often once with each of you separately, to understand the history of the relationship and the cycle. After that the work is mostly joint.
Inside the session nobody is judged right and no score is kept. We slow down the moment the intensity rises and examine exactly what happened — what was heard, what triggered what. That slowing down is half the therapy.
At a glance
- ForCouples, married or not
- Duration50 minutes per session
- SettingAt the practice in central Thessaloniki, or online
- ApproachEmotionally focused therapy (EFT)
- AppointmentsBy phone or through the contact form
- SidesThe therapist does not take either partner's side
Frequently asked questions
Start on your own. It is not ideal, but it is far better than nothing: when one link in the cycle changes, the cycle cannot stay the same. The second partner often comes later, once they see the room is not a courtroom.
No — and not out of diplomatic neutrality: because it does not help. Being right has never stopped a cycle. What helps is each of you understanding exactly what you do that keeps it alive, and what you are afraid of while doing it.
Couples work is usually more time-focused than individual therapy. The first meetings are assessment; then we set goals together and review at regular intervals. Frequency usually starts weekly or fortnightly.
It is, and it is a legitimate request. The aim of couples therapy is not to stay together at any cost — it is to make the decision clearly, knowing what was tried. If the decision is separation, there is work to be done so it causes less damage to everyone, especially children.